Studio Notes. 1/10/2016

To loose myself in the work. That is the ultimate goal. It's selfish. It's just for me. It's a high. It's meditation. I'm lost in the rhythm of the loud music in my studio and the dance back and forth from my painting. Pearl Jam usually does it for me, music from my youth. At least that's what it was today. I haven't reached this place in a while, where I'm just lost, in the flow, somewhat undistracted. I realize I've been listening to too many podcasts. Too much chatter. Back to the music. Thank god for that. I move quickly in a dance with the music and the painting. Up close putting paint down, back away, make choices, dance back to the work, put more paint down. Scream along to the music. I look over at the youtube video of Pearl Jam performing live in 1992 and swoon over young Eddie Vedder and feel a little sad, but grateful. I look at the clock and resist the urge to document my second mug of tea on instagram. The dance, back and forth, back and forth. The flow is so fragile and so seemingly impossible to obtain. When it is caught, it's like magic, like you are holding the secrets of the universe, something ancient and impossible to comprehend, and at any second it will disappear. I look at the clock and think about how much time I have left in the studio and that I need to clean the kitchen and do laundry.

I don't (yet) have the privilege of being in my studio every day, so it's challenging for me to create a flow when I feel like I'm constantly being interrupted. Every time I get back in the studio, it takes time for me to get back into a piece. It feels IMPOSSIBLE at first. I think to myself, this piece is never going to work...I'm done...I don't know why I'm doing this. But I know that's just chatter. Pointless. It has no meaning. The magic will only come if I pick up the brush. Embrace my solitude. Turn the music up and loose myself in the work.

Embracing the slowness of Winter and PHOTOS for sale at The Firefly!

Winter is finally here!!!! I'm one of those odd people that looks forward to winter. When the holiday madness is over and the quiet calm settles in. I feel like I've been going going going since July. Now I can slow down, hear my thoughts, layer up my flannels and drink endless amounts of tea and coffee....and *maybe* get some new work done!

On Christmas day this year, Jim and I visited The Wright Brothers and my grandparents. I've always meant to go have a sit, drink a beer, just hang out. The day was warm and the sun was absolutely amazing. I miss all of them so much. I've been so lucky, my entire life, to be encouraged by my family. I recognize that not everyone has that. Not every family encourages their children to do what they love, especially if that means struggling to make ends meet. But I think they have always known that it's not exactly a choice. To be an artist. At least that's not my experience. I don't remember deciding I would be one, but that's just who I am. How I see the world. How I operate inside it. And I might be a little bit stubborn, which helps.





Hopefully starting as early as next week, I am going to have some of my landscape photographs available for purchase at The Firefly Coffeehouse (where I am a barista 3 days a week!). I've been taking photos all these years and was recently encouraged to print them for sale. (by my mom...I should add...you know...still my biggest fan) The photographs are 5"x5" and come wrapped in a little cellophane bag. I will also have a few in frames.

The photographs have been taken over the past few years between Edgerton, Stoughton and Madison. When my son was a baby, I used to drive around in the country while he napped. Then, for a few years, my commute to work involved a route through the country. Now I just make it a point to take the long way, whenever possible. I love being in the country and I love to capture it with photos. One day, while our friend Taylor was with us on one of our country drives, I pulled over to take a photo and Oscar says to her "She does this...". I laughed, thinking about what Oscar's memories will be of all our drives in the country, going slow, pulling over to take pictures. He received a Fisher Price film camera (dead stock from 1984!) for Christmas this year...so I *may* be encouraging him to do the same ;)